DISGRASIAN Has Left The Building

WE'VE MOVED:

DISGRASIAN.com

B Here For Ur Peeps

Did you know that 1 in 10 Asian Americans suffer from hepatitis B? Probably not, which is why B Here is here.


B Here, as you've hopefully heard, is a new campaign designed to raise awareness of hepatitis B, a life-threatening liver disease that affects up to 2 million people in the U.S. – many of whom are Asian Americans. Eek factor: 10% of infected people can develop chronic hepatitis, cirrhosis or hardening of the liver, or liver cancer. Not cool.

We would like to kick diseases that affect our peeps in the shins.

Join us in the effort! B Here is currently hosting a university tour that makes one more stop next week, with two performances at UC Davis on Tuesday, October 27 and Wednesday, October 28. If you're in the area, pack them seats! It's practically a parade of our favorite musicmakers, rumpshakers and funnypeople--from KevJumba (♥) to Kaba Modern to David Choi (The lineup's so good you almost forget you're learning about something!).

Can't go? Well, there are lots of different ways for you to spread the word. Help the peeps out.

[B Here: WillYouBeHere.com]
[B Here at UC Davis: Event page]

DISGRASIAN OF THE WEAK! Sen. Dan Inouye

Sen. Dan Inouye of Hawaii, a WWII veteran and now the third-longest-serving senator in American history, may have voted in roll call for Al Franken's amendment to a larger Defense appropriations bill, which would end federal funding for defense contractors who abuse mandatory arbitration clauses to deny victims of assault (including sexual assault, like rape) the right to bring their case to court. But that amendment is now in danger at Inouye's hands.

From HuffPo:

Inouye's office, sources say, has been lobbied by defense contractors adamant that the language of the Franken amendment would leave them overly exposed to lawsuits and at constant risk of having contracts dry up. The Senate is considering taking out a provision known as the Title VII claim, which (if removed) would allow victims of assault or rape to bring suit against the individual perpetrator but not the contractor who employed him or her.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/22/frankens-anti-rape-amendm_n_329896.html

Well, we can't let those contracts dry up, can we? That would be bad, wouldn't it?

OH WAIT, prioritizing a bunch of fucking contracts over the rights of sexual assault victims would be more than bad. It would be a total fucking EPIC FAIL.

Time to tell that to Grandpa. Email or Call Inouye's office now and tell him you don't want victims forced into secret arbitration after they've suffered through the worst of violations, just because groups like KBR are making a big stink about being "exposed."

Inouye's office contact information is as follows:

Washington D.C.
722 Hart Building
Washington, D.C. 20510-1102
Phone: 202-224-3934
Fax: 202-224-6747

Honolulu
300 Ala Moana Boulevard
Room 7-212
Honolulu, Hawaii 96850-4975
Phone: 808-541-2542
Fax: 808-541-2549

Hilo
101 Aupuni Street, #205
Hilo, Hawaii 96720
Phone: 808-935-0844
Fax: 808-961-5163

[HuffPo: Franken's Anti-Rape Amendment May Be Stripped By Senior Dem, Sources Say]

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Thanks, Keoni!

A Note To Rachel Lee, Who May Have Burgled Lindsay and Audrina

Rachel Lee, Celeburglar?

Hi Rachel,

What's up, girl? We just read that you turned yourself in to the police last month, and just got arrested, in association with the February burglaries of celebutards Audrina Patridge and Lindsay Lohan--aka the Hollywood Hills "Burglar Bunch" string of celebrity heists.

So okay, there are just a couple of teensy things that your big sistaz here at DISGRASIAN have to say (if we may):

First of all, we can't condone crime, baby. That shit is not good for our collective AZN rep. Stealing is especially frowned upon (unless it's of the spotlight, the glory, or some dirty bitch's boyfriend) because it reads as really desperate, sad behavior. Our peeps---we aren't desperate! We shouldn't steal stuff cuz we should have stuff. We don't need stuff, we've got good stuff. And if we want more stuff, we just do reallyreallyreally well at something and get a bunch of money and then buy that stuff. Know what we mean?

Secondly, bravo on turning yourself in. That shows a bit of penance, or at least the smarts to build leverage before you and your buddies get threatened with prison time and beaten and forced to narc like crazy on each other until y'all are facing life without the possibility of parole or something. Did your parents make you hand yourself over to the fuzz? Wait--do your parents EVEN KNOW YOU [ALLEGEDLY] ROBBED A COUPLE OF CELEBRITIES YET?!? Or do they think you're off at college or something and just not returning phone calls about your grades? If not, whoa, sister. We don't know you, but our spare room is open if you get released and need to hide/crash somewhere for the rest of your life. Shit.

Third and finally, did you manage to steal anything good? From Lohan's house, we mean (we've got no interest in Patridge's extensive collection of skanky mini-dresses). There's gotta be some crazy shit up in that hellhole! Anyway, let us know... we're, um, just curious!

Keep ya head up, girl.

xoxo
DISGRASIAN

[NY Daily News: Second Suspect In Lindsay Lohan's Home Burglary, Rachel Lee, Turns Herself Over To Police]
[TMZ: 4th Burglar Bunch Suspect Arrested In Nevada]

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Glenn Beck On Why Doing Good Is Oh-So Bad

Glenn Beck continues to uncover the ugly truth about the Obama administration's dastardly plots to change this home of the free and land of the brave into... "Mao's China."



Dissenters, prepare to be tortured for pleasure, thrown into war, tossed into labor camps, and--if you're lucky--chased out of the country.

Where does the totalitarian state of America begin? Apparently, with volunteerism--which should most certainly not be encouraged by influentials or public figures or leaders of any sort, because that's propaganda, y'know, like in Mao's China--where Disney also offered people free passes for a day of good-doing.

Beck argues that volunteering is only good if a person wanted to do it anyway. And even though most of us in his "most generous" America are selfish fucks--who don't want to pay for our peers' health care, weep at the thought of losing a tax break, guzzle as much gas/grease/booze as will fit into our bloated lives, and don't care that this country is burning down to the ground while taking each one of us fat, egocentric, xenophobic, ignoramuses down with it--the most important thing in these tough times is that not to lift this country to a better place, but to assure that nobody's makin' us do fuckin' nothin' (Ya hear me, Obama?!!?)!!! Especially nothin' good. Or fer free.

NOTHIN'!

But that's missing the point! We're talking about Mao's China here! Which is something to make light of, like Beck's little stage friend here:

"SERVE OR DIE!"

[Examiner: Glenn Beck Says Volunteerism Is 'Like Living In Mao's China']

Racist Halloween Costumes...For Pets

With Halloween right around the corner, a lot has been said already about the latest crop of costumes--from the good to the bad to the offensive. An Illegal Alien costume, which was pulled from the shelves of Target and Walgreens this week after complaints from immigrant rights groups, seems to be this year's undisputed winner in the last category.


But didja know that offensive Halloween costumes even extend to pets? Here are some of the worst:

1) "The Geisha Dog Costume"

Description: Your cutie will look vibrant and colorful in this Chinese themed dog dress! Features an adorable Asian floral print on magenta with faux thread Chinese toggles on the back and white satin trim.


Okay, who's going to break it the costume makers that geishas aren't Chinese?


2) "Little Spanish Bandito Dog Costume"


When you want to say "Mexican" but don't want to sound racist, substitute the word "Spanish" instead.


3) "Pup Shalom Dog Costume"

Description: This adorable Pup Shalom Dog Costume celebrates your pup becoming a dog and is perfect for Halloween, Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, Hanukah or any occasion!


In light of the two South Carolina GOP officials writing in a newspaper op-ed this week that "Jews who are wealthy got that way not by watching dollars, but instead by taking care of the pennies and the dollars taking care of themselves," the worst thing about this costume? It's on sale, reduced by 500 pennies!


4) "Indian Dog Costume"


This costume would still be all kinds of wrong even if you called it a "Native American Dog Costume."


5) "Big Daddy Pimp Dog Costume"

Description: The Big Daddy Pimp Dog Costume will have your dog pimpin' it this Halloween. Watch your dog pile up the treats this Halloween when wearing this hysterical Big Daddy Pimp Dog Costume. Complete with purple hat and cape, this pet costume is stylin'.


Is it only a coincidence that this dog's black?!


I know, I know. All of that fluffy furry goodness kinda mitigates the inappropriateness of these costumes, but try to remember that if you saw a human wearing any one of these get-ups on Halloween, you'd probably die a little death. So are they really any better on a dog? My gut says "no."

[The Awl: Your Halloween Costume: A Bigot]
[AP: Alien Halloween costume spooks immigrants]

BIRTHDAY CELEBRASIAN! Ichiro Suzuki

Happy birthday to Ichiro, who turns 36 today!


2009 was a huge year for the mononymous outfielder: he set a major league-record of nine straight seasons with 200 or more hits, finished the season with a league-leading 225 hits, hit his first career walk-off home run (against the Yankees' Mariano Rivera, no less), and even drew his first career ejection for arguing a called third strike.

But hey, we're talking about a dude who's single-handedly proven to Americans that Asians can bring it on the baseball diamond, small ball can be just as captivating as long ball, and pokey ears can be weirdly hot, so Ichiro defying expectations is nothing new.

Speaking of defying expectations, here he is from a few years back telling Bob Costas what his favorite American expression is:



TRANSLASIAN: "August in Kansas City, it's hotter than two rats in a fucking wool sock."

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Crazy Eights: Octomom ♥ JGoss?

"Octomom" Nadya Suleman apparently told Radar Online that she has a crush on Jon Gosselin.

Those two douchetards together. Wow, that's something to imagine, isn't it?

Jon and 8 Plus 8

Oog. I just vomited 8 times.

And then 8 more times.

[Radar Online: Octomom Has The Hots For Jon Gosselin]

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A Tila Tequila Benchmark Event

I almost wept watching this month's Ustream episode (from a series of live streaming video chats) of Tila Tequila. The plotline: Tila trying on Halloween outfits and performing two songs *live*.



Maybe it's her setup: alone, with a sad little piano bench dragged out to the center of her living room--her chirpy, tinny voice echoing eerily off of the empty, artless walls.

Maybe it's the wardrobe: Tila modeling various Hollywood Boulevard Halloween outfits for her web audience, including a red-striped bikini she calls a "nurse outfit."

Maybe because, in that "nurse outfit," she tries desperately to make sickness sexy (?). For example:"Is anyone here feeling sick tonight? Does anyone have the swine flu?" and "I'm a nurse... I should give you a heart attack... because...Don't you want mouth-to-mouth...what do you call it... CPR?...mouth-to-mouth...regurgitation?" Oh boy.

Maybe it's that she has to run her own "sound check."

Maybe because saying "Retweet this!" out loud is just surreal.

Maybe it's the hooting she does ("wOO!") whenever she can't think of something to say. Or the fact that her interaction with a silent chatroomful of viewers reads on camera like a lonely, confused girl in Oklahoma talking to the corner of her bedroom.

Or maybe it's that her dog walking in the room is the most interesting part of her monologue.

Whatever it is, one thing is certain: I actually feel bad for Tila Tequila. And that makes me so sad I could cry.

ROCK OF ASIAN: Lydiajojo

Why we approve of YouTube darling Lydia Jo:

• Though she's got about a jillion videos of her singing on the Internets, she's smart enough to set her social networking profiles to private and keep her junk to herself (Good girl!).

• When covering Mariah Carey songs, she knows to stick to the awesome 90's stuff, not the creepy, Charmbracelet-era crapola:

• With her cute hair flip, baby cheeks, and funky earrings, she kinda vibes like a modern Claudia Kishi.

• She plays piano real nice.

• She loves family. Try to resist this performance with sis and bro. TRY TO RESIST! (Also, props for roping in siblings... no easy task):
  

• She is a very talented singer.

[YouTube: Lydiajojo's Channel]
[via Urlesque]

File Under Totally Gratuitous: Lucy Liu Nude Pics! [NSFW]

Nerve.com has, ahem, uncovered some old Lucy Liu nude pics.


They don't know when they were taken or what for, but like you care.

See the whole gallery here.

[Nerve: Lucy Liu Nude Photos Resurface]

Is Balloon Boy's Mom, Mayumi Heene, A Victim Of Her Husband?

ABCNews.com--under its "Entertainment" section, it should be noted--posted a disturbing portrait Tuesday of Mayumi Heene, Balloon Boy's mother. The story, "Balloon Boy Mom: Co-Conspirator or Abused Wife?" not only suggests that Mayumi may be a victim in this saga, but that her being Japanese has something to do with it.

The piece brings up the 911 call that brought police to the Heene house last February, when Mayumi appeared to have been hit in the face, and centers largely around allegations made by Richard Heene's former business partner, Barbara Slusser, who worked with him on his "Psyience Detectives" web show. Slusser told ABCNews.com that Mayumi's "Japanese background has kept her in a subservient relationship with her husband and three boys," and also called the mother of three "the most stoic person" and "basically (Richard's) slave."

Another former Richard Heene friend and colleague, Scott Stevens, echoed Slusser's statements.

"It's a cultural thing and (Richard) leveraged that knowledge," Stevens said. "He believed that Asian women can be subservient and that's what he wanted. But it takes two to tango and she was with him for more than a decade. Every day that was the dynamic in play."

The story went on to note how, for the Heenes' first of two appearances on Wife Swap, the show promo painted the following picture of the couple: "While Richard devotes every moment to his research, he expects Mayumi to cook, clean and run the house without any help." And how, in that October 2008 episode, Richard screamed at the woman who swapped places with his wife for two weeks, "You're a man's nightmare. I'm so glad my wife was born in Japan."

From Mayumi's second appearance on Wife Swap

So, if we're to believe this report, Mayumi Heene is essentially a sad, suffering-in-silence, subservient--a word used three times to describe her--Asian woman cliche (and Richard Heene, as everyone's suspected all along, a gaping, raging asshole). There is, however, one startling revelation in the story that prevents us from writing off Mayumi as a total victim: she and Richard have SEPARATE legal representation. In other words, if the Heenes are going to go down like their little Mylar balloon for this hoax, they're not going to go down together.

Lee Christian, Mayumi's lawyer, said the accounts given by Slusser and others indicate that the woman should not be accused of being a co-conspirator in any alleged hoax.

"I can't comment on the specific allegations here but if those statements are indeed true, then the district attorney needs to seriously think about whether to charge Mrs. Heene in this case," Christian said.

Selling out your domineering husband when faced with criminal charges? That's one helluva way to show him who's boss.

[ABCNews.com: Balloon Boy Mom: Co-Conspirator or Abused Wife?]

Thanks, Elton!