China's Plan to Date-Rape Children Foiled!

BOY: Go ahead, eat some beads.

GIRL: Why would I eat them? That's stupid.

BOY: You'll feel great, maybe a little sleepy. Heh, heh.

GIRL: You're a perv.

Happy Monday, everyone. Remember after the giant Mattel recall (that the toy company rightly shouldered the blame for eventually), when I said that "the Chinese secretly want to take over our country, eat our dogs, force us to speak ching-chong, rape our women with their tiny penises and then kill us"?

After hearing about the latest toy-recall debacle, in which the "date-rape drug" GHB was found in Aqua Dot toys manufactured in Shenzhen, China, I had to admit that I was wrong.

The Chinese not only want to take over our country, eat our dogs, force us to speak ching-chong, and kill us, but they want TO DRUG AND THEN DATE-RAPE OUR CHILDREN WITH THEIR TINY PENISES.

Why oh why are they so evil?!?

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