DISGRASIAN™: BABEWATCH: Jake Shimabukuro

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

BABEWATCH: Jake Shimabukuro

Name: Jake Shimabukuro

Hails from: Honolulu, Hawaii

Occupation: Ukulele Stud

Why He's a Babe: Because it takes a real man to play such a tiny instrument. Because ukuleles are cool and virtuosos are hot. And because what lady can't resist a dude with "lightning-fast fingers"?

Watch Shimabukuro's gorgeous interpretasian of "In My Life":

Source

DISGRASIAN DICTIONARY

Amazian - Amazin' Asian.
Anti-Asian - A mystical quality that makes a person look 10 years younger than their age. Example: Gong Li looked hot in Miami Vice...is she using Anti-Asian face cream?
Asiandroid - Asian robot. Example: Julie Chen.
Blasian - Black Asian. And badass.
Chinysteria - The alarmist fear that China is our new enemy and wants to poison our food, eat our dogs, take over the country and force us all to speak Ching-Chong.
Dental Disgrasian - Disgraceful person with f-ed up, toothy teeth. Example: William Hung.
Discrazian - Shameful member of the tribe who is also crazy.
Disgaysian - Shameful member of the tribe who also happens to be gay.
Disgrasianmobiles - The Honda Element and the Toyota Scion; souped-up Acuras; a brand spankin'-new Infiniti.
Emancipasian - Freedom.
Exploitasian - Yellow exploitation.
Fashism - The oppressive, unassailable ideas handed down by the Fashion world.
Gaysian - Fun.
Gongbang - An assault on the ears of gonging sounds that occurs in movies and television whenever someone or something Asian appears on screen. Example, Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles.
Hardass Asian Parents - Our mothers and fathers, whom we, despite our achievements and senses of familial duty, are usually disappointing.
Honorasian - Honorary one of us.
Ka-Ching-Chong - Foreign language spoken by business-minded people who see dollar signs in the place of one billion slanty-eyes.
Malapropasian - Asian who uses sucky speech, or sucky speech used by Asians.
Mistasian Identity - Mistaking one of us for another; a result of believing that we all look alike.
Muslasian - Muslim Asian.
Mutasian - A recurring archetype in movies and television who does not have speaking lines. Also known as an Ornamental.
Nipple Slipple - Peek-a-Boobie!!!
Nuddhism - Religion practiced by Far Eastern nudists.
Panda-ring - Pandering to our people.
Race Hustlers - Michelle Malkin's pet name for us!
Racial Dilettante - A person who dabbles in the affect of another race or races (see Racial Drag), particularly when that race is "IN."
Racial Drag - Accoutrement and/or affect donned by one race to mimic another. Example: when a white girl wears chopsticks in her hair.
Ricism - Racism against, among, and for rice eaters.
Samurite - White Samurai who is typically the only person on Earth capable of saving innocent Japanese villagers from evil warlords and marauders.
Uncle Tam - Yellow Uncle Tom.
Yellowface - When a non-yellow person wears geisha make-up or slanty eyeliner while speaking mangled English. See also, Racial Drag.

DISGRASIAN™

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

BABEWATCH: Jake Shimabukuro

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