Overheard at DISGRASIAN HQ this morning:
DIANA: Dude. Did you hear that Yul Kwon got engaged?
JEN: I don't wanna talk about it.
DIANA: Me neither.
Awkward silence.
JEN: He gave her a cushion-cut diamond ring.
DIANA: Ooh. Cushion-cut. Niiiiiice.
JEN: And she's so cute, you really can't hate her.
DIANA: Yeah. I know what you mean. And she's soooo skinny. I mean, look at those arms.
JEN: What about those legs? I had those legs...once.
DIANA: When I was twelve.
JEN: They're really skinny.
DIANA: Some might say too skinny.
JEN: Almost painfully skinny.
DIANA: Know what? I can't do this. (sighs) I hate her.
JEN: Loathe the bitch.
Source
Thanks, Jasmine and John!
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DISGRASIAN DICTIONARY
- Amazian - Amazin' Asian.
- Anti-Asian - A mystical quality that makes a person look 10 years younger than their age. Example: Gong Li looked hot in Miami Vice...is she using Anti-Asian face cream?
- Asiandroid - Asian robot. Example: Julie Chen.
- Blasian - Black Asian. And badass.
- Chinysteria - The alarmist fear that China is our new enemy and wants to poison our food, eat our dogs, take over the country and force us all to speak Ching-Chong.
- Dental Disgrasian - Disgraceful person with f-ed up, toothy teeth. Example: William Hung.
- Discrazian - Shameful member of the tribe who is also crazy.
- Disgaysian - Shameful member of the tribe who also happens to be gay.
- Disgrasianmobiles - The Honda Element and the Toyota Scion; souped-up Acuras; a brand spankin'-new Infiniti.
- Emancipasian - Freedom.
- Exploitasian - Yellow exploitation.
- Fashism - The oppressive, unassailable ideas handed down by the Fashion world.
- Gaysian - Fun.
- Gongbang - An assault on the ears of gonging sounds that occurs in movies and television whenever someone or something Asian appears on screen. Example, Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles.
- Hardass Asian Parents - Our mothers and fathers, whom we, despite our achievements and senses of familial duty, are usually disappointing.
- Honorasian - Honorary one of us.
- Ka-Ching-Chong - Foreign language spoken by business-minded people who see dollar signs in the place of one billion slanty-eyes.
- Malapropasian - Asian who uses sucky speech, or sucky speech used by Asians.
- Mistasian Identity - Mistaking one of us for another; a result of believing that we all look alike.
- Muslasian - Muslim Asian.
- Mutasian - A recurring archetype in movies and television who does not have speaking lines. Also known as an Ornamental.
- Nipple Slipple - Peek-a-Boobie!!!
- Nuddhism - Religion practiced by Far Eastern nudists.
- Race Hustlers - Michelle Malkin's pet name for us!
- Racial Dilettante - A person who dabbles in the affect of another race or races (see Racial Drag), particularly when that race is "IN."
- Racial Drag - Accoutrement and/or affect donned by one race to mimic another. Example: when a white girl wears chopsticks in her hair.
- Ricism - Racism against, among, and for rice eaters.
- Samurite - White Samurai who is typically the only person on Earth capable of saving innocent Japanese villagers from evil warlords and marauders.
- Uncle Tam - Yellow Uncle Tom.
- Yellowface - When a non-yellow person wears geisha make-up or slanty eyeliner while speaking mangled English. See also, Racial Drag.
WELCOME 23/6 READERS!
Links
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- Passive-Aggressive Notes
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- What Claudia Wore
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