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DISGRASIAN™

You're a disgrace. To the Race.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I Am Panda

This just in from Cannes:

"Zombie Pandas Overrun Film Festival: Jack Black Now Feared to Be 'One of Them'"


Source
Thanks, Jasmine!

Posted by jen at 1:02 PM|PERMALINK  

Labels: Cannes, Demented-Looking Creatures, Don't Get Me Started on Kung Fu Panda, Jack Black, Nightmares, Pandas, Please Don't Eat Me, Scary Shit, Zombies

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  • ▼ 2008 (591)
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      • Solidarasian
      • Who Is "The F*ck God"?
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      • SPORTS ILLUSTRASIAN: Odds and Ends
      • The War on Terror Rages On
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    • ► June (86)
      • Tore Up Fasian
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DISGRASIAN DICTIONARY

  • Amazian - Amazin' Asian.
  • Anti-Asian - A mystical quality that makes a person look 10 years younger than their age. Example: Gong Li looked hot in Miami Vice...is she using Anti-Asian face cream?
  • Asiandroid - Asian robot. Example: Julie Chen.
  • Blasian - Black Asian. And badass.
  • Chinysteria - The alarmist fear that China is our new enemy and wants to poison our food, eat our dogs, take over the country and force us all to speak Ching-Chong.
  • Dental Disgrasian - Disgraceful person with f-ed up, toothy teeth. Example: William Hung.
  • Discrazian - Shameful member of the tribe who is also crazy.
  • Disgaysian - Shameful member of the tribe who also happens to be gay.
  • Disgrasianmobiles - The Honda Element and the Toyota Scion; souped-up Acuras; a brand spankin'-new Infiniti.
  • Emancipasian - Freedom.
  • Exploitasian - Yellow exploitation.
  • Fashism - The oppressive, unassailable ideas handed down by the Fashion world.
  • Gaysian - Fun.
  • Gongbang - An assault on the ears of gonging sounds that occurs in movies and television whenever someone or something Asian appears on screen. Example, Long Duk Dong in Sixteen Candles.
  • Hardass Asian Parents - Our mothers and fathers, whom we, despite our achievements and senses of familial duty, are usually disappointing.
  • Honorasian - Honorary one of us.
  • Ka-Ching-Chong - Foreign language spoken by business-minded people who see dollar signs in the place of one billion slanty-eyes.
  • Malapropasian - Asian who uses sucky speech, or sucky speech used by Asians.
  • Mistasian Identity - Mistaking one of us for another; a result of believing that we all look alike.
  • Muslasian - Muslim Asian.
  • Mutasian - A recurring archetype in movies and television who does not have speaking lines. Also known as an Ornamental.
  • Nipple Slipple - Peek-a-Boobie!!!
  • Nuddhism - Religion practiced by Far Eastern nudists.
  • Race Hustlers - Michelle Malkin's pet name for us!
  • Racial Dilettante - A person who dabbles in the affect of another race or races (see Racial Drag), particularly when that race is "IN."
  • Racial Drag - Accoutrement and/or affect donned by one race to mimic another. Example: when a white girl wears chopsticks in her hair.
  • Ricism - Racism against, among, and for rice eaters.
  • Samurite - White Samurai who is typically the only person on Earth capable of saving innocent Japanese villagers from evil warlords and marauders.
  • Uncle Tam - Yellow Uncle Tom.
  • Yellowface - When a non-yellow person wears geisha make-up or slanty eyeliner while speaking mangled English. See also, Racial Drag.


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