Friday, May 16, 2008

Rejection and Humiliasian

Not everyone shares my love for Vince Vaughn, which is good whether or not he's puffy 'n' old or young 'n' Brando-ish, smoking hot or smoking too many ciggie-butts, drinking too many scotches or... being a Republican or... whatever. Doesn't matter. I love the dude.

Vaughn isn't known for being all that particular in the female department--all signs seem to point to success if you've got a round rump and a couple of Patron shots at your disposal. So I have to admit, I was surprised as everybody else when I read yesterday's "news" of Vaughn turning down a threesome offer recently at local LA bar.

(I know. I can't believe people actually put this total ca into print either. But without it, there would be no DISGRASIAN.)

I'm actually quite shocked that any girl would take such a blatant and shameful rejection and make it public, but I suppose minute fame these days is far more important than shame. I can't say that I would ever relive a romantic dismissal again, certainly out loud, to a friend or a tabloid. I may have too much pride. But that's just me.

I know everyone's asking the same question: "VINCE VAUGHN turned down a 3-way? He wouldn't turn away a 3-eyed cow with a skirt on! Why would he do such a thing? WHY? Is he growing up? Did the girls remind him of Jon Favreau? WHY? WHY? HOW?"

I asked these questions to myself all morning, and then decided: any man that turns down free romps is doing so for a reason. And my theory... is that the girls were actually PETA bikini protestors. Nobody likes a pale, vegan orgy.

Nobody.

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